I was asked yesterday by a concerned friend, ” So when do you get quality time with the girls?”   The question sent me into a tailspin as I attempted to expalin what that looked liked these days for the girls and I.  ” Well, we have the three days a week when I don’t work after I pick them up from school, but then I guess I am preoccupied then with trying to catch up on the never ending mounds of housework and loads of laundry.”  Well, there is…”

I know it was never her attempt to make me feel badly about the way I was parenting or being a single mother…but that is indeed what happened.  I was forced to acknowledge the harsh face of being a single mom, and my inability to ‘do it all.’  I was deflated,  saddened  when reminded of the sharp edges of our reality.  I forced a ‘ happy face’ and used rhetoric to cover the fact that inside my heart was hemorrhaging, and my children were growing more and more desperate for a present parent, a sense of normality, and…quality time? 

How I long for the lists of chores, the loads of laundry, the countless errands, and demanding schedules to do away with themselves.  But these are our ‘ mountains,’ and we climb them, best we can.

I  know that God’s unending grace will be quite sufficient for the girls and I.  ” All the time I have with them is quality to me, now.”  I explained to my friend. She looked into my eyes sympathetically.   I think she feels sorry for us…

“Please, don’t!” We are here, in this space in our lives because God has allowed us to be.  Yes, there are difficult times and tears, but they are drowned out by the laughter, growth, and life that fills our times together.  My girls and I are, will be…, ” more than conquerers,” of this everest. 

And every struggle, every tear shed, every heart break, disappointment…even those moments are sacred to us.  They too, are to us, quality time.